Although Thomas the Apostle has gotten a bad reputation as “Doubting Thomas,” I am grateful for his story. He represents any of us who have had our hopes and expectations crushed, which I think is all of us. He has just witnessed his friend and teacher suffer a horrendous and tortuous death. Before he could begin to believe that the story might end a different way and that his friend might have actually risen from that terrible death, he needs proof. “Unless I see the marks of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe,” he declares. Good for you, Thomas!
I see the same reaction in a person who has had their heart broken in a relationship as they take their time before entering a new one; the same tentativeness in a couple who experiences a miscarriage as they try and get pregnant again; the same doubt about a family member who decides to change their ways and give up alcohol—will they really change this time? Our hearts are so fragile, and it hurts so much to have them broken, that we want to be VERY careful before we hope again.
And yet we are invited to hope again. During the Via Crucis we heard moving testimonies of people who had their hearts broken—as migrants, as a wife with a husband who is alcoholic, as a son unable to visit his mother in Mexico, as a young mother in a quickly flooding home. Each and every one of them has found or is finding a way to hope again. We take heart in Thomas who is honest with Jesus about his broken heart. We realize Jesus finds us in our disillusionment, sadness, and fear, and he meets us there—just as he met Thomas in his broken heart. We do indeed dare to hope again, because in Jesus we have one who meets us where we are, and then leads us out of ourselves towards him.